How I Met Your Mother

The funniest Quotes & GIFs

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The funniest How I Met Your Mother quotes, GIFs and memes, starring Barney Stinson, Ted Mosby, Robin Scherbatsky and Marshall Eriksen. 31 gags, voted by fans: Hot shows the most upvoted, Fresh the newest, Top 10 the best-of lists.

#Barney Stinson #Ted Mosby #Robin Scherbatsky #Marshall Eriksen #Lily Aldrin #Sheila #Dr #Sarah O'Brien #Stella Zinman

A lie is just a great story
BarneyA lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
#How I Met Your Mother #Barney Stinson
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What color are her eyes?
MarshallWhat color are her eyes?
TedThe color of the ocean after a storm.
MarshallWhich is..?
TedBeautiful.
#How I Met Your Mother #Marshall Eriksen #Ted Mosby
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The worst thing about texting is that once you send it
TedThe worst thing about texting is that once you send it, you can never get it back.
#How I Met Your Mother #Ted Mosby
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People make fun of the guy who stays home every night
TedPeople make fun of the guy who stays home every night doing nothing but the truth is, that guy's a genius.
#How I Met Your Mother #Ted Mosby
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When I let a day go by without talking to you
BarneyWhen I let a day go by without talking to you...that day is just no good.
#How I Met Your Mother #Barney Stinson
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I'm such a mess, why do you even like me?
RobinI'm such a mess, why do you even like me?
BarneyI guess...'cause you're almost as messed up as I.
#How I Met Your Mother #Barney Stinson #Robin Scherbatsky
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I appreciate your help
BarneyRobin, just...
TedI appreciate your help, but there's a reason your name is Robin, not Batman.
#How I Met Your Mother #Barney Stinson #Ted Mosby
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I can't do this anymore.
TedI can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time when all the evidence points to the contrary.
#How I Met Your Mother #Ted Mosby
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Just be yourself. Say something nice.
LilyJust be yourself. Say something nice.
RobinWhich one? I can't do both.
#How I Met Your Mother #Lily Aldrin #Robin Scherbatsky
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You live in Ohio, right?
MarshallYou live in Ohio, right?
TedAll right, first of all, my parents live in Ohio. I live in the moment.
#How I Met Your Mother #Marshall Eriksen #Ted Mosby
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Think of me as Yoda.
BarneyThink of me as Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro. I'm Broda!
#How I Met Your Mother #Barney Stinson
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You're staring at my boobs.
StellaTed, you're staring at my boobs.
TedIn my defense, they were staring at me.
#How I Met Your Mother #Stella Zinman
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You can't get over a woman until
BarneyYou can't get over a woman until you can no longer picture her boobs. It's a scientific fact.
#How I Met Your Mother #Barney Stinson
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Do you wanna have dinner with me?
TedDo you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night?
Dr.Actually, I am getting married on Saturday.
TedFriday night?!
#How I Met Your Mother #Dr #Sarah O'Brien #Ted Mosby
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I'm pregnant.
SheilaI'm pregnant.
BarneyAre you sure you're not just getting fat?
#How I Met Your Mother #Barney Stinson #Sheila
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Sometimes you fall for someone you'd never expect
BarneySometimes you fall for someone you'd never expect, but that doesn't make it wrong.
#How I Met Your Mother #Barney Stinson
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You dumped a porn star?
BarneyYou dumped a porn star? Friendship over!
#How I Met Your Mother #Barney Stinson
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Did you want me to kiss you?
TedWhen we went out on our first date, at the end of the night, did you want me to kiss you?
RobinYeah, I did.
TedDamn it!
#How I Met Your Mother #Robin Scherbatsky #Ted Mosby
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They're six minutes into the date.
BarneyThey're six minutes into the date. Ted's probably already told her that he loves her!
#How I Met Your Mother #Barney Stinson
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You'll love again someday
BarneyYou'll love again someday, because time will heal a broken heart. But not that bitch's window.
#How I Met Your Mother #Barney Stinson
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