Seinfeld The funniest Quotes & GIFs

JerryAre you reading my VCR manual?

GeorgeProbably because this whole universe is against me.

GeorgeJerry, let's face it. I've always been handicapped. I'm just now getting the recognition for it.

JerrySo he shaved his head for no reason?

NewmanThey knew it wasn't me doing my route.

NewmanToo many people got their mail!

NewmanExactly. You're a disgrace to the uniform.

NewmanDamn.

ElaineCome on. I'm not difficult. I'm easy.

FrankYou got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So who's having sex with the hen?

JerryI mean, she's giving and caring and generally concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that.

JerryLook. You're a nice guy, but I actually only have three friends. I really can't handle any more.

ElaineBasically what you saying is 95 percent of the population is undateable? Then how are all these people getting together?

JerryExcept you don't really have any black friends. Outside of us, you don't have any white friends either.

GeorgeShe said: "Looks aren't that important to her"? I'd rather she hate me and think I was good looking.

GaryThe thing is I've been living a lie.

GeorgeWhy should she like me? Who am I? There's a million people to like.

FiremanHow do you live with yourself?

ElaineI once broke up with someone for not offering me pie.

JerryWhat about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?