Seinfeld The funniest Quotes & GIFs

GeorgeI drive them to lesbianism. He brings them back.

JerryLet me tell you, if you're a guy and you ask for the doggy bag on a date you might as well have them just wrap up your genitals too. You're not gonna be needing those for a while either.

GeorgeWhen I like them, they don't like me. When they like me, I don't like them.

JerryNot that there's anything wrong with that.

GeorgeI don't wanna be remembered. I wanna be forgotten.

HelenDoesn't like you? How could anyone not like you?

GeorgeAll bald people look good in hats.

ElaineAren't you too young to be bitter?

GinaYou are still afraid. You are not a man.

JerryWho goes on vacation without a job? What, do you need a break from, getting up at 11?

GeorgeI feel when lesbians are looking at me they're thinking: "That's why I'm not heterosexual".

ElaineYou'd really like him.

GeorgePeople think I'm smart, but I'm not smart.

KramerShe needs a little love, needs a little tenderness, needs a little Kramer.

KramerShe needs a little love, needs a little tenderness, needs a little Kramer.

GeorgeMy whole life has been a complete waste of time.

GeorgeEvery woman on the face of the earth has complete control of my life. And yet, I want them all. Is that irony?

KramerI said, "If you're gonna kill yourself do it already and stop bothering me."

GeorgeFor I am Constanza, lord of the idiots.

JerryWhat is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?