New Girl The funniest Quotes & GIFs

SchmidtI commissioned a new negligee, custom made by a Japanese men I found on Etsy.xxx. I can't wait for Cece to see me in it.

JessSo, you know in horror movies when the girl's like, "Oh, my God. There's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on, in the dark." And you're like, "What is your problem? Call the police."

SchmidtI'm a mess. I can't sleep. I urinate constantly. I cried the other day listening to a techno song. My tweets have been extremely literal.

CeceI will murder you and clean up your blood with your cat.

NickDo I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.

SchmidtPine has no place in this loft! It's the wood of poor people and outhouses!

JessWe're a family. Families talk about things.

JessHave you ever seen sex from above? It's horrible. That's why God thinks it's a sin.

I'm not really a dessert person.

WinstonWould you consider us adorable?

CeceI appreciate that you are a very dramatic man, but next time you start a conversation with "This is the hardest thing that I EVER said to you", It better end with "I'm gay now", "I found a lump in my nut" or "She came out of nowhere, help me get the blood off my car".

NickThis place is fancy and I don't know which fork to kill myself with.

JessYou can run away from your problems, but you're just gonna find new ones that pop up.

NickLife sucks! And then it gets better, and then it sucks again.

WinstonAre you guys hungry?

SchmidtI don't celebrate Christmas, okay? Or as I like to call it, White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night.

JessIf any of you cross me, I'm gonna kick the testicles clean off your bodies! Clean off! You'll look like Ken dolls down there!

WinstonI'm worried about Schmidt. He's a Jew in the desert. I don't want him to wander.

WinstonYou were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost.

JessHey, are you gonna murder me 'cause you're a stranger I met on the Internet?

JessHe says no.