The funniest New Girl quotes, GIFs and memes, starring Schmidt, Jess Day, Nick Miller and Winston Bishop. 80 gags, voted by fans: Hot shows the most upvoted, Fresh the newest, Top 10 the best-of lists.
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Schmidt happens
SchmidtSchmidt happens -
Interior design not decorating
CeceBabe, I know you were planning on doing all the heavy lifting when it comes to decorating...SchmidtInterior design. Cece, this is a home, not a Christmas cookie. -
You are a gynaecologist and a lesbian
SchmidtYou are a gynaecologists and a lesbian, which makes you...well, a va-genius. -
I'll convert to Indianism!
SchmidtI'll convert to Indianism!Cece*shakes head*SchmidtHindi Hindi-iseh? Indiani-Indi Indi-Buddhi-ism? -
I work harder than anyone.
SchmidtI'm your employee. And I work harder than anyone. I'm the first one to show up every morning.KimNo, you're not.SchmidtThere's never a parking space.KimThat's because everyone's already here, Schmidt. -
Like Gandalf through Middle-Earth?
SchmidtI'll take you through the whole thing. I'll be your guide.JessLike Gandalf through Middle-Earth?JessOkay, first of all, let's take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave where no one will ever find them.JessExcept Smeagol. He lives in a cave. -
Do you have anything that says "Sorry for cheating...
SchmidtDo you have anything that says "Sorry for cheating on you, please don't sleep with my friends?" -
Believe it or not, that's not the first time...
JessBelieve it or not, that's not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size. -
You look like a prostitute for wizards.
WinstonYou look like a prostitute for wizards. -
She's on a flip phone, Jess.
SchmidtShe's on a flip phone, Jess. She's either poor or a time traveler. -
So you had sex with him?
SchmidtSo you had sex with him?JessNo! The opposite...SchmidtThe opposite? So you gave birth to him? -
My boobs are loving this unemployment thing
JessMy boobs are loving this unemployment thing. They don't have to go to boob jail every day. -
Hows that wine and coffee combination treating you?
JessHows that wine and coffee combination treating you?CeceMy heart is beating really fast, but time is moving really slow. -
A lot of people never graduated high school
SchmidtA lot of people never graduated high school. Einstein, Bill Gates, Anne Frank... Forget the last one. -
I wonder why?
SchmidtI can't believe that the zoo wouldn't let me borrow their white tiger? -
Last time I tried absinthe
NickLast time I tried absinthe, I tried to put my car in my pocket. -
Where do you even buy sheets like this?
SchmidtWhere do you even buy sheets like this? They have the thread count of a paper towel. -
I feel like I want to murder someone, and also I...
JessI feel like I want to murder someone, and also I want soft pretzels. -
I swear to God
SchmidtI swear to God, I will scream sing every last word to Les Mis. -
What colour do you think you are?
SchmidtWinston if you think those shoes are brown, what colour do you think you are?