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  • Schmidt in New Girl: “I'm a mess. I can't sleep. I urinate constantly. I cried the other day listening to a techno song.”

    I'm a mess.

    SchmidtI'm a mess. I can't sleep. I urinate constantly. I cried the other day listening to a techno song. My tweets have been extremely literal.

    #New Girl #Schmidt

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  • Schmidt and Ruth in New Girl: “Now, daddy is going to do his job, because these braids are straight up dock ropes. Daddy, do the special braids.” These braids are straight up dock ropes
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  • Schmidt and Jess Day in New Girl: “I'll take you through the whole thing. I'll be your guide. Like Gandalf through Middle-Earth?” Like Gandalf through Middle-Earth?
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  • Schmidt in New Girl: “I swear to God, I will scream sing every last word to Les Mis.” I swear to God
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  • Cece Parekh and Schmidt in New Girl: “Babe, I know you were planning on doing all the heavy lifting when it comes to decorating... Interior design.” Interior design not decorating
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  • Schmidt in New Girl: “Where do you even buy sheets like this? They have the thread count of a paper towel.” Where do you even buy sheets like this?
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  • Schmidt in New Girl: “I can't believe that the zoo wouldn't let me borrow their white tiger?” I wonder why?
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