New Girl The funniest Quotes & GIFs

NickI am not a successful adult. I don't eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.

NickMerie said he's not publishing Chicago Hobo and then a bird pooed on me.

NickMy only babysitter at the time was a rollercoaster at a local amusement park. That and a pack of cigarettes. Being nine in Chicago is different.

JessYou always see the worst in people.

NickI've got stuff I got to do.

NickDocuments.

JessCan you imagine how much we would get done if we just focused our energy onto something a little bit more worthwhile?

JessWell, I guess I can't hide my crazy.

JessI'd like the strongest drink you have, and also a wine spritzer on the side in case I don't like it.

NickShe will believe anything.

NickMy real name is Jamil.

WinstonFerguson is his name. Yeah, he's my cat. Here's him in a cowboy hat.

SchmidtNick is delicate, like a flower. Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself.

NickI've never been more sober in my whole life. I'll remember this as long as I live. I'm all in. Uno, bitches.

WinstonYou know, I'm just staying positive, but, uh... I'm pretty sure this is where we die.

NickYou're allowed to be happy, but it's really annoying, the way you're doing it.

WinstonLook, it's no big deal... But I need this more than I've needed anything in my entire life.

NickWell, Jess, Christmas is just so stressful...with the lists and the lines and-and the dancing girls at TV Town Song Room.

JessI brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours! And that doesn't mean I'm not smart and tough and strong.

JessYou can't escape destiny. She comes for us all, that relentless bitch.

SchmidtYou like my personality?

SchmidtHave you seen a girl wandering around? Looks like a drawing of a best friend that an eight-year-old would make.