Charlie Harper Quotes

CharlieWhen I say, "I understand", it doesn't mean I understand. It doesn't mean I agree. It doesn't even mean I'm listening.

AlanI wish there were a better way to deal with Mom.

AlanCharlie, there is a half-naked woman in our kitchen.

CharlieThe damage has been done. All that's left to do now is drink until the part of brain that creates mental pictures is dead.

CharlieThe day you start accepting limitations is the day you start dying, and I am not dying, my friend. I am living life to the fullest. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go throw up and take a nap.

JakeYou are usually in a good mood because you have sex.

CharlieHey, there he is. How's it going, buddy?

CharlieCheer up, you're still a kid. It's gonna get much worse.

CharliePeople say that alcohol cause many deaths but they don't say how many people were born because of it.

Dr.Been drinking heavier than usual?

Dr.And how many dinners have you had today.

CharlieMy past is divided between things I can't remember and things I don't want to.