Ron Swanson Quotes from Parks and Recreation
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Look, a clock.
RonLook, a clock. We don't have that in America. -
The Ron Swanson book club.
RonI hate metaphors. That's why my favorite book is Moby Dick! No froo-froo symbolism, just a good, simple tale about a man who hates an animal. -
Dear frozen yogurt
RonDear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars. -
Hello shrimp!
Jean-RalphioHello shrimp!RonRethink that move, son. -
You know what makes a good person good?
LeslieI'm guilty. I did something bad. I'm a bad person.RonIt's not that simple. You know what makes a good person good? When a good person does something bad, they own up to it. They try to learn something from it, and they move on. -
Tom put all my records into this rectangle.
RonTom put all my records into this rectangle. The songs just play one right after the other! This is an excellent rectangle! -
Literally killed a guy last year.
RonI am starving. I haven't had lunch since yesterday.AndyLet me go to Big Joe's for you. They have the most insane burritos.RonI don't much go for ethnic food.AndyTrust me. They have one that's called the meat tornado. Literally killed a guy last year.RonYou had me at "meat tornado". -
Dont you dare question Ron lunch choices
RonI'll have the number 8.WaiterThat's a party platter, sir. It serves twelve people.RonI know what I'm about, son. -
I haven't had lunch since yesterday.
RonI am starving. I haven't had lunch since yesterday.AndyLet me go to Big Joe's for you. They have the most insane burritos.RonI don't much go for ethnic food.AndyTrust me. They have one that's called the meat tornado. Literally killed a guy last year.RonYou had me at "meat tornado". -
Ron about Veganism
AprilYou signed your real name to that letter?RonOf course I did. Whats gonna happen? A vegan is gonna physical attack me?