Ron Swanson Quotes from Parks and Recreation

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  Sexual history?

  AnnSexual history?

  RonEpic and private.

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  Allergies?

  AnnAllergies?

  RonCowardice and weak-willed men. And hazelnuts.

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  Give 100%

  RonIntensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.

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  Ron about bowling

  RonStraight down the middle. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.

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  BBQ is about good shared meat!

  RonThere will be no froofy desserts. There will be no giant soap bubble guns. There will be no adult men in costumes. And most of all, there will be no f#^%ing vegetables.

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  Teaching kids how taxes work

  RonThis is your lunch. You should be able to do whatever you want to with this, right? But here I come, the government, and I get to take 40% of your lunch. And that, Lauren, is how taxes work.

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  Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

  Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

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  You will grow from boys into men

  RonUnder my tutelage, you will grow from boys into men, from men into gladiators, and from gladiators into Swansons.

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  Best of Luck

  RonI'd wish you the best of luck. But I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.

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  Fishing relaxes me

  RonFishing relaxes me. It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

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