Nandor the Relentless Quotes from What We Do in the Shadows
-
You are not Twilight
NickTwilight!DeaconShut up, Nick! You are not Twilight.NandorI'm going to sprinkle glitter on my face and on my body. Like Twilight. -
America's first gay president
GuillermoWho is George Washington?NandorGeorge Washington.NandorAmerica's first gay president.GuillermoI don't think that George Washington was actually...NandorYes. -
I was Jack the Ripper
LaszloI was Jack the Ripper.LaszloI've never told anyone that before. -
It looks like I'm flying, Master
NandorHow is it looking, Guillermo?GuillermoIt looks like I'm flying, Master.NandorWoo-hoo.GuillermoWoo-hoo!GuillermoI'm a vampire!NandorYou are not, though. -
What, you can't even call?
NandorWell, well, well.NandorYou've been gone all night. What, you can't even call?GuillermoI'm sorry. -
He was not just a familiar
NandorOh, no. Oh...BaronOkay, now I'm starting to feel a little bad. But on the bright side, he-he was just a familiar.NandorHe was not just a familiar. He was my bodyguard.NandorHe was the best man at my wedding.NandorHe was my friend. -
To be your familiar will be my honor
NandorGuillermo de la Cruz, will you do me the honor... of accompanying me on my journey around the world?GuillermoTo be a vampire is my dream. But to be your familiar will be my honor. -
You could have asked me
GuillermoI made a big mistake. And I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to hurt... you. I had someone else turn me into a vampire. I asked them to do it.NandorYou asked... someone else? A vampire that was not me?GuillermoI felt like I had no other choice.NandorYou could have asked me. -
Guillermo is not cut out to be a vampire
GuillermoI've never killed anyone before. I mean, I guess dozens of vampires.GuillermoAnd I did bring humans to the vampires so they could kill them.GuillermoAnd I've dismembered, like, a ton of dead bodies.GuillermoBut back at the restaurant, that was a real living person. And when I leaned in to take... I could... smell their shampoo and all I kept thinking was this guy was at CVS just sniffing away all these shampoos and says, "Eh, I think I'll get this one because it reminds me of where I used to go camping as a kid."GuillermoI can't do this, I'm sorry. Could we just...NandorJust as I feared. Guillermo is not cut out to be a vampire. I will fix. -
If I'm lying, then kill me now
NandorNow I'm going to be honest with you. I... am going... to kill you, Guillermo.NandorI give you my word... as a warrior. If I'm lying... then kill me now.