Parks and Recreation The funniest Quotes & GIFs

RonI am starving. I haven't had lunch since yesterday.

RonI don't much go for ethnic food.

RonYou had me at "meat tornado".

LeslieIt's more than a promise. It's a pinky promise.

AprilYou signed your real name to that letter?

AnnSexual history?

AnnAllergies?

RonIntensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.

RonStraight down the middle. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.

RonThere will be no froofy desserts. There will be no giant soap bubble guns. There will be no adult men in costumes. And most of all, there will be no f#^%ing vegetables.

RonThis is your lunch. You should be able to do whatever you want to with this, right? But here I come, the government, and I get to take 40% of your lunch. And that, Lauren, is how taxes work.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

RonUnder my tutelage, you will grow from boys into men, from men into gladiators, and from gladiators into Swansons.

AnnSeniors can get pretty ornery.

AndyI'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 sushis, I barf.

RonI'd wish you the best of luck. But I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.

RonFishing relaxes me. It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

RonOf all my coworkers he is one of a small number whom I do not actively root against. There I go getting all sappy again.

RonVeganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life.

AnnDo you exercise?

AndyI'm gonna tell you all of my secrets. I once forgot to brush my teeth for 5 weeks. I didn't actually sell my last car I just forgot where I parked it. I don't know who Al Gore is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask. When they say 2% milk I don't know what the other 98% is. When I was a baby my head was so big scientists did experiments on me. I once threw beer at a swan and then it attacked my niece Rebecca.

TomWhenever Leslie asks me for the Latin names of any of our plants, I just give her the names of rappers. Those Ludacrises are coming in great.