The funniest House MD quotes, GIFs and memes, starring Dr, Gregory House, James Wilson and Lisa Cuddy. 32 gags, voted by fans: Hot shows the most upvoted, Fresh the newest, Top 10 the best-of lists.
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What's the opposite of "thank you"?
Dr.What's the opposite of "thank you"? I'm pretty sure it ends in "you". -
She's not your type.
Dr.She's not your type. Your type is much stupider than her. -
You talk to God, you're religious.
Dr.You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic. -
I cared for eight seconds.
Dr.I cared for eight seconds. Then I got distracted. -
I've heard your name
Dr.Dr. House, I've heard your name.Dr.Most people have. It's also a noun. -
He did get hit by a bullet
Dr.He did, however, get hit by a bullet.Dr.He was shot?Dr.No. Somebody threw it at him. -
The world is such a complicated place
Dr.The world is such a complicated place if you've got higher reasoning skills. -
Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?
Dr.Do I get bonus points if I act like I care? -
Are you Dr. House?
MyronAre you Dr. House?Dr.I have a feeling I'm gonna regret this, but yes. -
I'm not fine as in fine
Dr.I'm not fine as in "fine," but fine as in "you don't have to worry about me." -
That's one hell of women empowering speech
Dr.Yesterday's sluts are today's empowered women, today's sluts are celebrities. -
Just waiting for whatever is about to go wrong.
Dr.Just waiting for whatever is about to go wrong. -
How advanced is the pneumonia?
Dr.How advanced is the pneumonia?Dr.It's taking college courses. -
Silent and unhappy
Dr.Silent and unhappy is better than vocal and unhelpful. -
Boys can't hold me for too long
HannahBoys can't hold me for too long, because I can overheat.Dr.Girls can't hold me for too long, because I pay only for an hour. -
It's a basic truth of the human condition
Dr.It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what. -
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to like you
Dr.I'm pretty sure I'm not going to like you. It's nothing personal, I don't like anybody. -
People don't get what they deserve
Dr.People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. -
There are three choices in this life
Dr.There are three choices in this life. Be good, get good or give up. -
Everybody does stupid things
Dr.Well, everybody does stupid things. It shouldn't cost them everything they want in life.