The funniest Keeping Up with the Kardashians quotes, GIFs and memes, starring Scott Disick, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian and Kris Jenner. 69 gags, voted by fans: Hot shows the most upvoted, Fresh the newest, Top 10 the best-of lists.
-
Being fat really saved me.
KhloeBeing fat really saved me from being a whore in life. -
Someone sent us a free yoga membership
KimOh look, someone sent us a free yoga membership.ScottThank God. You wouldn't have been able to affort it. -
Just stop it
KrisKim, would you stop taking pictures of yourself? Your sister's going to jail! -
Kim knows best
KimI’m worried about Mom, a little bit, because I’ll look online and there will be all these pictures of her and Corey. She doesn’t listen to me when I’m like, “You know, you should really take it slow."ScottDidn’t you get married both times after a couple of months? -
You better photoshop me
KhloeYou better photoshop me if I'm next to these skinny bitches. -
Picky dog
KimIt won’t eat its regular food, it’ll only eat these.KrisThose are cookies for people, not dogs. It’ll get rally sick and start pooping everywhere.KimReally? -
Scott, your whole ass is out!
KhloeScott, your whole ass is out!ScottI'm finally a Kardashian! -
I'm like dropping hints that I'm single
KimI'm like dropping hints that I'm single. I'm single. -
Black tutu with a gold chain
KimWhat kind of child will I have? A very tutu-y, like, princess?KourtneyI think so, but I think, like, a black tutu with like a gold chain. -
Keeping Up With The Kardashians?
KimI want to do a documentary on my life and show all of this.KrisGreat idea. Why don't you call it Keeping Up With The Kardashians? -
The bigger the hoop, the bigger the ho
KhloeHoochie hoops, too? The bigger the hoop, the bigger the ho. Look how big mine are! -
Kourtney burned Kris Humphries so hard he could...
DavidHe wants an annulment, is that right? Why an annulment?KimHe's suing me for an annulment based on the fact that I frauded him into marrying him for publicity.KourtneyBut, I think if she was gonna do it for publicity, she'd pick someone that people knew.Kim[dies laughing] -
And people say we have no talent.
KrisI did it without touching the lip of the bottle. And people say we have no talent. -
I might be pregnant.
KourtneySo I took a pregnancy test, and I might be pregnant.ScottThere's a might symbol? -
I wanted to kill her
KrisWhen i saw Kim's sex tape, as a mother, I wanted to kill her. But as a her manager... -
She needs us right now
KrisShe needs us right now.ScottI think an e-mail would be sufficient. -
Probably Oprah
KrisI think my favorite day of this last year was probably the day when Oprah came over.ScottNot the day when Penelope was born? You heartless wench. -
The biggest fear of life
KimOh my God, Kourtney. I’m gonna cry for you. This is, like, my biggest fear of life. You have a stretch mark. -
How fucking dare you
KhloeKim just texted me saying "How fucking dare you, you're such an evil bitch. You've crossed a line with me, you dumb, evil fucking troll". All I did was wake her up. -
Ugh, for the love of Kanye.
KrisUgh, for the love of Kanye.