Silicon Valley The funniest Quotes & GIFs

JaredWe have already been turned down by every respectable VC in town.

MonicaAt least this way, I'm still in the game.

GavinYao, I need you to give me 30% more output. I don't care how you do it. Just a thought, those kids don't look that busy.

BertramCars depreciate 10% as soon as they fall of the truck. So if the card costs $100, well you just lost $10. Did it cost $100? Or More?

BertramThere better not be a Chinaman in my bed.

BertramYes. I am racist.

ErlichThis luxuriant hair conditioner is for CURLY hair. Which one of you straight haired dick farmers used it!?

RichardI had sex.

RichardA female.

RichardA female human!

DineshI'll never underestimate my talents again.

ErlichMy dignity is in your hands, Richard!

GavinTHE FUCK?!

VCThree days ago I sat right here, and I watched you put your testes on this reclaimed Brazillian Koa wood table, and now you're going to sit there and you're going to watch me do the same goddamn thing to you.

JaredAwesome.

MiaThere's a computer in the library that's not supervised on Sundays. I think if I can pull library duty, I'll be able to sneak on and track down whoever ratted me out. I am going to destroy that motherfucker.

DineshI thought I'd have to, like, answer to Congress or something.

DineshShut up. Gavin wouldn't come after me personally.

DineshI was CEO for 11 days, and in that time I violated the rights of 50,000 little girs, exposes them to sexual predators...and raked up fine the size of a small nation's GDP.

JaredWhen Dinesh calls me retarded Frankenstein, or he describes me as AIDS pady...or Gilfoyle refers to me as a effeminate K.D. Lang...I know this is a joke among friends.

JaredSee? It's hilarious!

JaredWe were bros.

ErlichOne of you is the least attractive person I've ever seen, and I'm not gonna say who.

Real zero with girls. Real bad ass with kids.