Jake Peralta Quotes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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Do you happen to know my blood type?
JakeHey, do you happen to know my blood type?AmyYeah. B positive.JakeWell, guessed wrong. Hey, Craig? -
What are you doing?
CopHey, hey, hey, there. What are you doing?JakeI'm just playing a prank on my buddy.CopSounds fun. Carry on. -
Our second option is
JakeOur second option is surveillance footage of Detective Amy Santiago soliciting drugs using perfect grammar.AmyIt's not that weird to say, "May I have some cocaine?" -
Everything's fine.
AmyJake, that sounded really bad, is everything okay?JakeYeah, everything's fine. I'm talking to you. -
Love has made you dumb.
JakeYou're gonna ace this test.AmyYou think that because you love me, and love has made you dumb.JakeI disagree. If anything, love has made me smarter. Remember last week when I boiled that egg?AmyThat was big. I was really proud of you. -
Today we face the worst New York has to offer.
JakeWe've busted murderers. We've taken down cartels. But today we face the worst New York has to offer. The fire department. -
In a weird way
JakeAnd you know, in a weird way, I'm going to miss out little house.KevinYes, and in an even weirder way, I think I might actually miss you.JakeAnd in an even weirder way, I want you guys to be my dads.KevinThat's weirder.JakeYeah, I got stuff. -
Someone's been following me for two days.
AdrianSomeone's been following me for two days. White guy, svelte, thick brown hair, piercing blue eyes. I don't know, I guess you'd consider him classically handsome. Is that weird to say?JakeNo. I mean, is it? No, I don't think so. -
What celebrity, Sir? Is it a Chris?
JakeWhat celebrity, Sir? Is it a Chris? Hemsworth? Evans? Pratt? Pine? Brown? Cross? Is it a non-Chris? -
Me after a five minutes on duolingo
JakePlease, you're just pissed we cracked the case wide open and you've got nada. That's right, I speak Spanish.SorenActually, we've got much more than nada.JakeDamn it, he speaks Spanish too.