Jake Peralta Quotes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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![Jake Peralta and Warden in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “The only people less popular [in prison] than cops are snitches. Well let’s be honest, it’s not...”](https://cdn.tvgag.com/content/quotes/4338_500.jpg)
The only people less popular than cops are snitches
JakeThe only people less popular [in prison] than cops are snitches.WardenWell let’s be honest, it’s not great in here for trans people. -
Name of your sextape
JakeBut...but...but...JudgeOne more "but" and you will be in contempt.Jake"One more 'but' and you're contempt", nema of your sex tape. -
I borrowed 3000$ from my walking group friend Ruth
CaptainI borrowed 3000$ from my walking group friend Ruth. I accidently knocked up a woman. You know me I see a pair of breasts and all logic flies out of window.JakeHeterosexual you is such a dog! -
You stay the hell away from my walking group
CaptainYou stay the hell away from my walking group!JakeThe walking group meant nothing to me.CaptainThats's even worse. -
Halloween is the worst.
AmyI passed a slutty tree on the way here. Who wants to have sex with a tree?ScullyWas it a maple?JakeWas it a maple? -
It doesn't look good.
CaptainJust got off the phone with the brass. It doesn't look good. They're still trying to decide on a punishment for your actions.JakeWell, did you tell them I feel so bad I have a tummy ache?CaptainI did. They were unaffected. -
One is your locker, the other is a garbage dump
CaptainHere are two pictures. One is your locker. The other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you tell which is which?JakeThis one's the dump.CaptainThey're both your locker!JakeAh, I should've guessed that. He's good. -
It better not be pregnancy-related
JakeHey, Gina. I need a top secret favor. Sharon is coming to the precinct and I need your help.GinaUh, it better not be pregnancy-related, because that crap is nasty.JakeThe miracle of life?GinaDress it up however you want, that's some disgusting animal kingdom nonsense. -
Well thats a mess
JakeYou slept in your office and you look exactly the same. How?CaptainWhat are you talking about? My hair is a mess. -
We have a lead
CaptainUnfortunately, we can't just arrest Figgis, because he has a man inside the FBI.JakeThe good news is, we have a lead that's gonna break this case wide open: Maura Figgis, Jimmy's sister. She's currently serving in a maximum security prison in Texas.TerryA white woman in prison, in Texas? She must be bad.