Alan Harper Quotes

24 gags from Two and a Half Men

Should I change?
AlanShould I change?
CharlieYou should but after all these years I doubt you will.
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Classic Charlie
AlanI feel sorry that your heart has become so hard and small, that you've lost the capacity to connect with another human being on any level any more meaningful, than the inebriated exchange of bodily fluids.
CharlieBoy, leave it to you to take a beautiful thing like drunken sex and make it sound dirty.
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What are you afraid of?
AlanWhat are you afraid of?
CharlieI'm afraid I'm gonna hit you so hard, I'll be an only-child.
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We judge a person by what's inside
AlanWe judge a person by what's inside and not by what they wear.
JakeLucky for you, huh?
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