Man with a Plan
The funniest Quotes & GIFs
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Where are the naked doctors?
AndiWhy's it always some hoochie mama? Where are the naked doctors? Naked Astronauts? Naked Presidents?DonThey are out there. Put dot com in the end and you'll find out. -
Teddy is not so innocent anymore
AndiMy precious, innocent Teddy is not so innocent anymore. Now he is just like... one of you. -
Lets get the dirty laundry
LowellIf there is dirty laundry about Royce online, I'll find it. I'm like Russia, but with the easy grace of France.AdamWell, I'm like America, so let's go get a burger and stick our noses where they don't belong. -
Oops
AndiWell, this is definitely dirty, because I feel both excited and ashamed. Kind of like the time we did it on my parent's bed.AdamDifferent boyfriend.AndiOops. -
I do like tiny things
AdamTiny clothes, tiny footprints, tiny teeth. You name somethink tiny, I kept it.AndiI do like tiny things.AdamShut up, Don. -
How you doin
ZaraI'm ZaraDonHey, mama. -
And you never change your sheets?
AndiAnd you never change your sheets?KateI thought you just change them every 7 years.AndiThat's the mattress, Kate. -
If only…
AdamDo they pay people to drink wine?AndiYeah, well, if they did, we'd be having this conversation on a yacht. -
I can't believe she left you here
RudyI can't believe your wife was so mad she left you here.DonYours did too.RudyWell, I can believe my wife did it. I just never seen it happen to someone else. -
It's time for you to get to know me
AdamIt’s time for you to get to know me. For instance, one of my hobbies is to go into the woods and bury things in holes. Sometimes I take one thing, cut it up and bury it in different holes. Depends on my mood.DonHE IS MOODY! -
We have a guest room Dad
JoeI made you, you are my guest. -
Cream for my dry skin
AdamWhat\'s this?JoeCream for my dry skin.AdamWhy are you giving it to me?JoeYou have to rub it on me. Not everywhere, just the places I can't reach. -
Don't be afraid of the crazy one
AndiListen to me you poofy haired little rat. I know where you live, and I know where you work. If you ever come near our daughter again, I will come to the end of your rainbow and I will kick you right in the tox.AdamFree advice, never be afraid of the crazy one, be afraid of the one the crazy one is afraid of. -
Is that what you tell all the girls?
Adam“Make the right choice call Royce”. Is that what you tell all the girls?RoyceWhat?DonDID HE STUTTER! -
What's bigger than that?
DonWow, we're building a mini-mall. What's bigger than that?AdamWell, A Mall! -
No way in hell
JoeThere is no way in hell you are getting me through that door.Dr.Good morning gentlemen, I am Dr. Knox. I'll be doing your checkups today. So, who's up first?JoeThat be me. -
Is there something you wanna tell us?
AndiIs there something you wanna tell us right now? I mean, it will really help you out with the big guy.EmmeI am comfortable with my relationship with Santa. -
What's my name
AdamIt's not like you know my first name.TeacherAdamAdamOh. Well, yeah. Anyone could guess that. It's like the first name ever. -
Plan B
AndiHi munchkins! What's going on?TeddyDaddy's teaching us blackjack in case we need a plan B in life. -
STD
AdamExcuse me, Miss Rodriquez, I think you are bullying my good friend. So i will stand up, talk and depart. That's right, I just gave you an STD.