Jake Peralta Quotes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Time to put on our negotiation faces
JakeTime to put on our negotiation faces. Not too intimidating, but always in control. How's this?
CharlesAs if you don't know it's perfect.
#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #Charles Boyle #Jake Peralta
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- $Amy and Jake in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “It's not that weird to say, \May I have some cocaine?\ It is.”$
- $Amy and Jake in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “It's not that weird to say, \May I have some cocaine?\ It is.”$
It's not that weird to say…
AmyIt's not that weird to say, \"May I have some cocaine?\"
JakeIt is.
#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #Amy Santiago #Jake Peralta
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Title of our sex tape
AmyWhy doesn't your mouth work?
Jake'Why doesn't your mouth work', title of our sex tape!
AmyWhat?
JakeYOUR sex tape! What? No!
#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #Amy Santiago #Jake Peralta
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Okay, duly noted
AmyAlso, if you ever wanna bust out that Holt Impression at home, I'd be okay with that.
JakeOhhh okay, duly noted. Super disturbing but i'm definitely gonna do it.
#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #Amy Santiago #Jake Peralta
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I love this mattress.
AmyI love this mattress.
…[And it loves having you in it.]
JakeGod?
BrianIt’s Brian.
#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #Amy Santiago #Jake Peralta
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We’re going mattress shopping
JakeWe’re going mattress shopping.
AmyOnce we get it we’ll have to break it in…
JakeOh I hear what you’re saying: mattress trampoliiine! Wait, no you were talking about sex.
#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #Amy Santiago #Jake Peralta
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We've never even had a fight.
JakeYou have nothing to worry about. There's no personal issues here. We've never even had a fight.
AmyIt's true. Our only close call was when Jake didn't know who Will Shortz was.
CaptainReally? Never heard of the Puzzlemaster? This is who you want to be with?
#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #Amy Santiago #Captain Ray Holt #Jake Peralta
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Do you happen to know my blood type?
JakeHey, do you happen to know my blood type?
AmyYeah. B positive.
JakeWell, guessed wrong. Hey, Craig?
#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #Amy Santiago #Jake Peralta
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You're going to ace this test
JakeYou're going to ace this test.
AmyYou think that because you love me, and love has made you dumb.
JakeI disagree, if anything, love has made me smarter. Remember last week when I boiled that egg?
AmyThat was big. I was really proud of you
#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #Amy Santiago #Jake Peralta
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So, tell us about the venue.
AmyOh, well, there\'s not much to tell other than it\'s a gorgeous mansion!
JakeBig ol\' house!
AmyWith a professional kitchen.
JakeChop-chop, y\'all! - Ooh.
AmyA private library for the ceremony.
JakeMy girl loves books!
AmySeven bathrooms!
JakeNo lines, ladies!
#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #Amy Santiago #Jake Peralta
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