Jake Peralta Quotes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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What's the worst pet to have?
JakeGuys, what's the worst pet to have?GinaA cat.AmyA dog.RosaA child. -
I only feel one emotion and it's anger.
RosaI only feel one emotion and it's anger.JakeLast night, you drunk texted the whole squad a thousand hearts emojis.RosaOut of anger. -
I'm quick at math.
JakeI'm quick at math.CaptainOkay what's 38 x 76?Jake24.CaptainThat's not even close.JakeBut it was quick. -
The only thing that you got right is my little curl
JakeThe only thing that you got right is my little curl, and I can just get rid of that.CharlesJake, you can't.JakeYou're right. It's worth the risk to keep it. -
I can't help it. I'm proud of you.
DougI can't help it. I'm proud of you. You're like a son to me. A white, crispy son.JakeHow would that even work? Am I adopted?DougNo, your mother's just really pale. Almost invisible. -
What the hell Jake?
AmyWhat the hell, Jake? Do you even love me?JakeSays the woman who never once sent me flowers. -
There is so much crime in New York.
JakeI started off by making a map of all of the burglaries that have gone down in Brooklyn since 1996 to see if there was a pattern. That led me to this. There is so much crime in New York. No one should live here. I guess that's your new best friend now
JakeI guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on '-iago'. Backstabber.AmyI'm surprised you've read Othello.JakeWhat the hell is Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.-
We’re not waiting one second
JakeWe're not gonna hang around like sitting ducks. We're gonna take the fight to them. Like some WADDLING ducks! If the waddling was superfast and cool.TerryLike some boss ass penguins!-
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Do I even weigh anything to you?
JakeDo I even weigh anything to you?TerryNo. It's like holding a couple of grapes.
