Howard Wolowitz Quotes
48 gags from The Big Bang Theory
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Are we your X-Men?
PennyAre we your X-Men?SheldonThe X-Men were named for the "X" in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-Men.HowardOh, that's not a good name. -
The last jew that did sit-ups
RajeshNone of our gods have abs like that.HowardYep, that's the last Jew who did sit-ups. And look where it got him. -
The way I see it
HowardThe way I see it, I'm halfway to pity sex. -
Sure half a carat is fine
HowardHey David what'd you find? Sure half a carat is fine. Her freakishly small hands make anything look big. It's one of the reasons I love her. -
Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon
HowardLove is not a sprint, it's a marathon, a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms.. or hits you with the pepper spray -
That's racist
BernadetteReady to call tech support?HowardGive me the number. Probably wind up talking to some foreign guy who's reading from the same manual I have.RajeshIt's my father, you jerks. -
I am a horny engineer
HowardI am a horny engineer, I never joke about math or sex -
Happens all the time
RajeshYou slipped and fell into a robot hand?HowardYes.RajeshPenis first?HowardYes. Now, help me!LeonardI'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well. -
It is the things you love that make you who you are
PennyIt is the things you love that make you who you are.HowardI guess that makes me large breasts. -
Forever!!!
HowardI'm your idiot forever.