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  • Jake Peralta and Charles Boyle in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “The only thing that you got right is my little curl, and I can just get rid of that.” The only thing that you got right is my little curl
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  • Doug Judy and Jake Peralta in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I can't help it. I'm proud of you. You're like a son to me. A white, crispy son.” I can't help it. I'm proud of you.
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  • Gina Linetti in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “So, Duncs, I have an idea for a second book. It's a memoir, and it's made of memes. So, it's called a meme-oir.” I have an idea for a second book.
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  • Gina Linetti and Captain Ray Holt in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “There has been a ton of crime in my neighborhood, and the cops in my precinct are very bad.” There has been a ton of crime in my neighborhood
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  • Amy Santiago and Jake Peralta in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “What the hell, Jake? Do you even love me? Says the woman who never once sent me flowers.” What the hell Jake?
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  • Captain Ray Holt and Deputy Chief Madeline Wuntch in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “May I? Those are my tissues, Raymond. If you were planning on sneezing...” May I?
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  • Jake Peralta in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I started off by making a map of all of the burglaries that have gone down in Brooklyn since 1996 to see if...” There is so much crime in New York.
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  • Charles Boyle and Gina Linetti in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “Gina, I screwed up, big time. Given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be...” I screwed up, big time
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  • Gina Linetti in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “Onedle plus onedle equals... toodles!” Onedle plus onedle equals
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  • I don’t know what that means.
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  • I bet that she could make this fly
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  • There, I played.
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    • Jake and Amy in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on '-iago'. Backstabber.”
    • Jake and Amy in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on '-iago'. Backstabber.”
    • Jake and Amy in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on '-iago'. Backstabber.”
    • Jake and Amy in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on '-iago'. Backstabber.”
    I guess that's your new best friend now
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  • That don't mean there's no global warming
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  • John Oliver on Student loans
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  • Eliot Waugh in The Magicians: “No need to bow or cheer. I have an extremely healthy self-image.” No need to bow or cheer.
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  • Margo Hanson and Eliot Waugh in The Magicians: “Suck a dick. Trying to, but he won't text back.” Suck a dick
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  • Quentin Coldwater, Margo Hanson and Eliot Waugh in The Magicians: “We need some serious battle magic. But that stuff is illegal.” We need some serious battle magic.
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  • Stuart Bloom and Howard Wolowitz in The Big Bang Theory: “Where are the kids? I thought they were with you. What? No! I am kidding.” Where are the kids?
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  • Love is just around the corner
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