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  • Erlich Bachman in Silicon Valley: “I'm not a racist. I watch a lot of black porn.” Just check my computer
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  • Lois Griffin and Joe Swanson in Family Guy: “Oh, my God, Joe! Joe, you're too heavy. I can't hang on. Pretend I'm your child, Lois. Not Meg! Not Meg!” Joe, you're too heavy.
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  • Jason Mendoza in The Good Place: “Any time I had a problem, and i threw a Molotov cocktail… Boom, right away, I had a different problem.” Thats one way to solve a problem
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  • Jim Halpert and Michael Scott in The Office: “Wow, it's a little early for ice cream, don't you think? It's never too early for ice cream, Jim.” It's a little early for ice cream.
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  • Dinesh Chugtai and Bertram Gilfoyle in Silicon Valley: “I thought I'd have to, like, answer to Congress or something. Yeah, that makes sense.” He wouldn't come after me personally
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  • Ross Geller and Chandler Bing in Friends: “I just want to be married again. And I just want a million dollars!” I just want to be married again.
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  • Cece Parekh in New Girl: “I will murder you and clean up your blood with your cat.” Don't mess with me
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  • Nick Miller in New Girl: “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” Do I regret it?
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  • Eleanor Shellstrop, Jason Mendoza and Chidi Anagonye in The Good Place: “Jason, talk to no one. Go nowhere. Do nothing. I won't let you down.” Jason, talk to no one.
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  • Monica Geller in Friends: “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it.” Welcome to the real world.
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV.” The answer to life's problems
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  • Gordon Ramsay in Hells Kitchen: “Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn’t f—ing cook it!” Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn’t f—ing cook it!
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  • Erlich Bachman and Monica Hall in Silicon Valley: “There's something called mansplaining. Have you heard about this? We know what mansplaining is.”
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  • Tag Jones and Phoebe Buffay in Friends: “Phoebe. That's a great name. You like that? You should hear my phone number.” Strong dating skills
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  • Schmidt in New Girl: “Pine has no place in this loft! It's the wood of poor people and outhouses!” Pine has no place in this loft!
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  • Amy Farrah Fowler and Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory: “Sheldon there's something else I've been wanting to say. But before I do, I...”
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  • Dinesh Chugtai, Jared Dunn and Bertram Gilfoyle in Silicon Valley: “I just donated $5,000 to my cousins Wajeed's Kickstarter campaign.” Hey Bro
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  • Dr. Gregory House in House MD: “Silent and unhappy is better than vocal and unhelpful.” Silent and unhappy
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  • Dwight Schrute in The Office: “Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, Would an idiot do that? And if they would, I do not do that thing.” Would an idiot do that?
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  • Claire and Alex in Modern Family: “How did you get so smart? I’ve always assumed adoption or baby switch.” How did you get so smart?
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