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  • Nick Miller in New Girl: “Last time I tried absinthe, I tried to put my car in my pocket.” Last time I tried absinthe
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  • Constance Langdon in American Horror Story: “I have long stopped asking why the mad do mad things.” I have long stopped asking why the mad do mad things.
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  • Selina in Veep: “Fat Wolverine.” Fat Wolverine
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  • Evelyn Harper and Alan Harper in Two and a Half Men: “I was showing a house, and I thought I'd visit the people I love. And they weren't home?” I thought I'd visit the people I love.
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.” To alcohol!
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  • Kevin Gable and Sales Guy in Kevin can wait: “We have got unity back here. Alone we are just single fingers, but together we bowl up into a fist...” We got unity
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  • Helen in A.P. BIO: “I searched every sub in the district... Come on in, don’t be shy. Come on. Tada! It’s me.” Tada! It’s me.
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  • Ann Perkins and Chris Traeger in Parks and Recreation: “I mean, I was jogging. I hate jogging. Jogging's amazing! Jogging is the worst, Chris!” I hate jogging
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  • Reverend Lovejoy and Marge Simpson in The Simpsons: “Get a divorce. But isn’t that a sin? Marge, just about everything is a sin.” But isn’t that a sin?
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  • Gordon Ramsay and Waiter in Kitchen Nightmares: “The dough is so thick. It's like a loaf of bread. That's our thin crust. That's the thin crust?” That's our thin crust.
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  • Hank in Californication: “Your assistant makes me want to touch myself in a bad place.” Your assistant makes me want to touch myself
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  • Donna Paulsen in Suits: “Just because a person gives advice doesn't mean that they have to follow that same advice.” Just because a person gives advice
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  • Murray in The Goldbergs: “I agree with whatever nonsense your mother just said.” I agree with everything
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  • Dr. Gregory House in House MD: “Yesterday's sluts are today's empowered women, today's sluts are celebrities.” That's one hell of women empowering speech
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  • Gloria in Modern Family: “To Haley’s first drink. Salud.” It burns
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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.” I knew exactly what to do
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “Oh, my God. Space aliens. Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them!” I have wife and kids
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “No matter how good you are at something, there’s always about a million people better than you.” No matter how good you are at something
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  • Dr. Gregory House in House MD: “Just waiting for whatever is about to go wrong.” Just waiting for whatever is about to go wrong.
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  • Rachel Green in Friends: “Well maybe I don't need your money! Wait! I said maybe!” I don't need your money!
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