I use boyfriends as emergency contacts FacebookTwitter We choose our secret warrior signal FacebookTwitter What would you do if I were a deranged psychopath? FacebookTwitter FacebookTwitter I'm a cool dad. That's my thang. FacebookTwitter He's not that dramatic FacebookTwitter You're so funny! FacebookTwitter 90% of being a dad? FacebookTwitter I didn't want to mess with his head FacebookTwitter Ugh, kids FacebookTwitter How do say in english? FacebookTwitter I'm like costco. FacebookTwitter Care to join? FacebookTwitter She gave me a piece of exercise equipment FacebookTwitter Mommy dearest FacebookTwitter Act like a parent, talk like a peer. FacebookTwitter You're probably one of these beautiful women who doesn't even know it. FacebookTwitter So, would you? FacebookTwitter The first day of school is tough on all my kids. FacebookTwitter About waking up on a beach FacebookTwitter12345