I feel like I'm floating on a croissant. FacebookTwitter I'm everykind of friend. FacebookTwitter Writing things down is nerdy? FacebookTwitter I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster FacebookTwitter Explain that FacebookTwitter Four hours is the most I can do FacebookTwitter They'll update our computers FacebookTwitter The doctor said all my bleeding was internal FacebookTwitter What if I'm pregnant? FacebookTwitter I don't ask people out FacebookTwitter What's his body like on a scale from Charles to Terry? FacebookTwitter Changed my relationship status FacebookTwitter Ma'am, if you could just get down FacebookTwitter It was like taking candy from a baby FacebookTwitter Did I just plan the worst wedding in history? FacebookTwitter The only worthwhile thing I've done today was take a Buzzfeed quiz about what kind of onion I am. FacebookTwitter Me after a five minutes on duolingo FacebookTwitter What celebrity, Sir? Is it a Chris? FacebookTwitter Someone's been following me for two days. FacebookTwitter In a weird way FacebookTwitter23456