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  • Dwight Schrute in The Office: “Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” The enemy of my enemy is my friend
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  • Michael Scott and Pam Beesly in The Office: “You and Jim are close, huh? Yeah, I think the pregnancy really brought us together.” You and Jim are close, huh?
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  • Michael Scott and Jim Halpert in The Office: “I'm going to start my own paper company. Do you know the industry's in decline?” I'm going to start my own paper company.
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  • Charles Miner and Jim Halpert in The Office: “What is a two-way petting zoo? You pet the animals, they pet you back.” What is a two-way petting zoo?
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  • Dwight Schrute in The Office: “No. Lonely people mixing with one another? Breeding? Creating an even lonelier generation?” Lonely people mixing with one another?
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  • Dwight Schrute in The Office: “That's cool. Hey, you know what's even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed.” You know what's even cooler than triceratops?
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  • Dwight Schrute in The Good Place: “Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because, if so, you are succeeding.” Are you trying to hurt my feelings?
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  • David Wallace and Michael Scott in The Good Place: “I'll fax over some of the things we're looking for, okay? Fax? Why don't you just send it...” I'll fax it
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  • Phyllis Lapin and Dwight Schrute in The Office: “What are you making? A knife. You're making a knife with a knife? You got a better way?” What are you making?
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  • Angela Martin and Michael Scott in The Office: “He knows how to get things. He got me. Whoa! Sorry. Twice.” He knows how to get things.
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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “If a baby were president, there would be no taxes, there would be no war.” And look at where we are now.
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  • Dwight Schrute in The Office: “Growing up, I performed my own circumcision.” Growing up, I performed my own circumcision.
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  • Dwight Schrute and Michael Scott in The Office: “Force it in as deep as you can. That's what she said.” Force it in as deep as you can.
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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “I don't hate it. I just don't like it at all, and it's terrible.” I don't hate it.
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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.” I am running away from my responsibilities.
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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable.” Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool.
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  • Karen Filippelli and Michael Scott in The Office: “When we get mad, you always ask us if we're on our periods. I have to know whether you're...” When we get mad, you always ask us if we're on our periods
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  • Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute in The Office: “The stress of my modern office has caused me to go into a depression. Depression?” Dwight, you ignorant sl*!
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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “Dwight, you ignorant slut!” Dwight, you ignorant sl*!
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  • Dwight Schrute in The Office: “Oh, you know that line on the top of the shrimp? That's feces.” Dwight has impeccable timing.
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