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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.” If I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby
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  • Schmidt in New Girl: “Where do you even buy sheets like this? They have the thread count of a paper towel.” Where do you even buy sheets like this?
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  • Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory: “Not to brag, but all my breakups have lasted.”
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  • Syrio Forel in Game of Thrones: “There is only one God and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.” There is only one God
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “I'm in no condition to drive. Wait, I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk.” I'm in no condition to drive.
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  • Lily Tucker-Pritchett and Cameron Tucker in Modern Family: “So Larry's allowed to sit on the couch and I'm not? Well, Larry is white.” Larry is white.
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  • Stewie Griffin in Family Guy: “Every hot girl who can aim a camera thinks she's a photographer. Ooh, you took a black and white picture of a lawn...” Whistle While Your Wife Works
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  • Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory: “Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.” I excel at many things
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  • Gordon Ramsay in Hells Kitchen: “This is a really tough decision. Because you're both crap.” This is a really tough decision. Because you're both crap.
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  • Gordon Ramsay in Hells Kitchen: “I wish you’d jump in the oven. That would make my life a whole lot easier.” I wish you’d jump in the oven.
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  • Hank in Californication: “You can’t snort a line of coke off a woman’s ass and not wonder about her hopes and dreams, it’s not gentlemanly.” You can’t snort a line of coke
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  • Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory: “Look at me. Dancing with the prettiest girl at the prom. I kind of wish no one else was coming.” Dancing with the prettiest girl at the prom.
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  • Jess Day in New Girl: “I feel like I want to murder someone, and also I want soft pretzels.” I feel like I want to murder someone, and also I want soft pretzels.
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  • Donna Paulsen in Suits: “You're weird. You'll be my friend.” How I recruit my friends
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  • Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner in Keeping Up with the Kardashians: “I want to do a documentary on my life and show all of this. Great idea.” Keeping Up With The Kardashians?
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  • Harvey Specter in Suits: “I don't get lucky...I make my own luck!” I don't get lucky
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “What's the point of going out? We're just gonna wind up back here anyway.” What's the point of going out?
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  • Phoebe Buffay and Chandler Bing in Friends: “One of my clients died on the massage table today. That's a little more relaxed than you want them...” Chandler over the top
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  • Eliot Waugh in The Magicians: “I have so much to teach you about drinking. It's a three-year program. Graduate level. It begins immediately.” I have so much to teach you about drinking.
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  • John Oliver in Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: “Drug companies are a bit like High School Boyfriends. They're much more concerned about...” About drug companies
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  • 16 Sarcastic And Hilarious Dr Gregory House Quotes 16 Sarcastic And Hilarious Dr Gregory House Quotes
  • 12 Times Howard Wolowitz showed us that he's a ladies' man 12 Times Howard Wolowitz showed us that he's a ladies' man
  • 15 Times Jason Mendoza was Forking Hilarious on The Good Place 15 Times Jason Mendoza was Forking Hilarious on The Good Place
  • 15 Times Schmidt Happened On 'New Girl' 15 Times Schmidt Happened On 'New Girl'
  • 15 Reasons Why Sheldon And Penny Have The Most Awesome Friendship 15 Reasons Why Sheldon And Penny Have The Most Awesome Friendship
  • 15 Times Karen Walker From 'Will & Grace' Made Us Burst Out Laughing 15 Times Karen Walker From 'Will & Grace' Made Us Burst Out Laughing
  • 16 Most Romantic Penny and Leonard Moments on The Big Bang Theory 16 Most Romantic Penny and Leonard Moments on The Big Bang Theory
  • Bronn's Most Badass and Savage Insults at Game of Thrones Bronn's Most Badass and Savage Insults at Game of Thrones
  • 10 Times Ricky Gervais From 'After Life' Made Us Burst Out Laughing 10 Times Ricky Gervais From 'After Life' Made Us Burst Out Laughing
  • Big Bang Theory Sheldon and Amy - Best Shamy Moments Big Bang Theory Sheldon and Amy - Best Shamy Moments
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