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  • Jake Peralta in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “Oh, yeah, the guy without a daddy is the one with daddy issues! Explain that logic.” Explain that
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  • Terry Jeffords in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster. Little fools.” I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster
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  • Amy Santiago and Rosa Diaz in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “Writing things down is nerdy? What do you do? I just forget stuff like a cool person.” Writing things down is nerdy?
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  • Jake Peralta and Terry Jeffords in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “Sarge, I'm everykind of friend. I'm Phoebe, I'm Chandler, I'm Rachel, I'm...” I'm everykind of friend.
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  • Captain Ray Holt in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I feel like I'm floating on a croissant.” I feel like I'm floating on a croissant.
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  • Jake Peralta and Terry Jeffords in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “You have more muscles in your ears than I have in my entire body. Never skip ear day, Jake.” Never skip ear day
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  • Leonard Hofstadter and Penny in The Big Bang Theory: “Put it anywhere you like. Okay, but you may feel some discomfort.” Badass Penny
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  • Howard Wolowitz and Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory: “We need a lawyer. You must have someone in your family who's a lawyer. Why?” We need a lawyer
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  • Bernadette Rostenkowski in The Big Bang Theory: “What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit??” Same goes for salads!
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  • Sheldon Cooper and Mary Cooper in The Big Bang Theory: “Why do people cry at weddings? They're practicing for what's coming later.” Makes sense
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  • Mary Cooper and Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory: “How could you think that I would spend the night with a man I just met?” How could you think that!
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  • Dr. Alfred Hofstadter and Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory: “You're patient young lady. Hey, she's mine! Take a cold shower, grandpa!” Watch your hands!
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  • Beverly Hofstadter and Mary Cooper in The Big Bang Theory: “Please read another book. When God releases another, I will.” Please read another book.
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  • Ned Flanders in The Simpsons: “It’s probably me. I’m about as exciting as a baked potato.” Also as pretty
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  • Marge Simpson and Bart Simpson in The Simpsons: “There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome. Hello, Mother dear.” Hello, Mother dear.
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  • Man and Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “I'm a man of few words. Any questions? Uh, is the poop deck really what I think it is?” Is the poop deck really what I think it is?
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “Do you want to change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you Hoju.” Thats catchy
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  • Teacher and Bart Simpson in The Simpsons: “So you see, children, there is hope for anyone. Even me? No.” There is hope for anyone.
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  • Homer Simpson and Marge Simpson in The Simpsons: “See. Marge. I told you they could deep-fry my shirt. I didn't say they couldn't.” I told you they could.
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  • Damn you I will not be ignored!
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