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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?” Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?
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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “Webster's Dictionary defines wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.” Does it?
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  • Stanley Hudson and Oscar Martinez in The Office: “I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. If I don't have some cake...” Why don't you just have an apple?
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  • Ryan Howard in The Office: “I'm such a perfectionist that I'd kinda rather not do it at all, than do a crappy version.” I'm such a perfectionist
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  • Pete Miller and Darryl Philbin in The Office: “All right, this next one goes to Darryl. For pocket dialing a customer while having sex.” Player's gotta play
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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “No one asked you anything ever.” No one asked you anything ever.
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  • Jim Halpert in The Office: “I mean, I'm not a slut, but who knows?” I mean, I'm not a slut, but who knows?
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  • Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute in The Office: “You okay? I am better than you have ever been or ever will be.” You okay?
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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “I'm not gonna cry over it. I did that in the car on the way home.” I'm not gonna cry over it.
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  • Pam Beesly in The Office: “When you're a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are gonna be right about that.” When you're a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates.
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  • Dwight Schrute in The Office: “R is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder, not mukduk.” "R" is among the most menacing of sounds.
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  • Kevin Malone and Rose in The Office: “I can't keep doing this forever. It's been 20 seconds. Call it.” I can't keep doing this forever.
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  • Dwight Schrute in The Office: “I have anxiety all the time. Every waking moment of my life is sheer torture.” I have anxiety all the time.
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  • Kelly Kapoor and Jim Halpert in The Office: “Well, I manage my department. And I've been doing that for several years now.” Me at job interviews
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  • Kelly Kapoor in The Office: “You want to call someone that texted you? Do you want to drive them away? I mean--?” You want to call someone that texted you?
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  • Gabe Lewis in The Office: “But, uh, I'm young, right? I will date when I'm dead.” I'm young, right?
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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “Why are you the way that you are? I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.” Why are you the way that you are?
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  • Kelly Kapoor and Ryan Howard in The Office: “If I created a website with this many problems I'd kill myself. Do you have a question Kelly?” Do you have a question Kelly?
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  • Pam Beesly in The Office: “I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat.” I don't care what they say about me.
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  • Michael Scott in The Office: “Friends joke with one another. Hey, you're poor. Hey, your momma's dead. That's what friends do.” Friends joke with one another
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