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  • Gloria Delgado-Pritchett in Modern Family: “I wanted to kill him. But I bite my tongue, because in this family, they think that I am a Colombian...” I wanted to kill him.
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  • Mitchell Pritchett in Modern Family: “Stay up all night, it's in your blood, you come from the land of coffee and cocaine!” It's in your blood
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  • Phil Dunphy and Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “Haaapppy birthday!!! It's a grill. I've got a grill. You had a wife too.” Haaapppy birthday!!!
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  • Phil Dunphy and Claire Dunphy in Modern Family: “You probably think there's something between me and Gloria. Relax. I couldn't be more relaxed if...” You can relax
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  • Jay Pritchett and Alex Dunphy in Modern Family: “The family needs a leader, and I can't do it forever. You can handle it. Do I have to?” The family needs a leader
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  • Haley Dunphy in Modern Family: “I'm looking for my sister. She has brown hair, dressed like a nerd, but not ironically.” I'm looking for my sister.
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  • Simon and Claire Dunphy in Modern Family: “Almost fainted. Just gonna put my head between my legs. Plenty room down there.” Almost fainted.
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  • Dylan Marshall and Alex Dunphy in Modern Family: “I don't know where she is, but I can sense that she's okay. It's like we share the same brain.” I don't know where she is
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  • Haley Dunphy, Alex Dunphy and Luke Dunphy in Modern Family: “Ugh, when did you become a guy? It's gross. You need to stand up and face her.” When did you become a guy?
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  • Haley Dunphy in Modern Family: “This crazy bitch just messed with the wrong crazy bitch.” This crazy bitch just messed with the wrong crazy bitch.
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  • Alex Dunphy, Haley Dunphy and Luke Dunphy in Modern Family: “Any time a woman challenges a man in any way, she's crazy. Did she, like, give you...” She is crazy
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  • Mitchell Pritchett and Cameron Tucker in Modern Family: “Who is this God that denies us a baby, then gets a party girl pregnant, only to have her...” Who is he?
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  • Gloria Delgado-Pritchett and Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “Do you know how much this costs? No. How much? Don't change the subject.” You know how much this costs?
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  • Jay Pritchett and Manny Delgado in Modern Family: “You took a 3 hour hap yesterday. I was tired from the marathon. The Downtown Abbey marathon.” You took a 3 hour hap yesterday.
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  • Cameron Tucker and Mitchell Pritchett in Modern Family: “You do stuff with her all the time and you don't ask for my permission.” You do stuff with her all the time
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  • Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “He has grown up drinking from a breast bigger than his head! I don't think he scares easy.” He will be traumatized
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  • Jay Pritchett and Gloria Delgado-Pritchett in Modern Family: “I was able to raise two fully functional kids! You have two kids that I don't know...” Two fully functional kids!
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  • Manny Delgado and Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “My God I'm normal. Trust me kid. No one says that about you.” My God I'm normal.
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  • Jay Pritchett and Seler in Modern Family: “Excuse me where do you keep the diapers? You are trying to be funny? We have larger sizes.” Where do you keep the diapers?
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  • Jay Pritchett and Gloria Delgado-Pritchett in Modern Family: “I thought your phone got stolen. This is Joe's phone! This is why the terrorists...” This is Joe's phone!
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