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  • Glenn Quagmire in Family Guy: “We all know what's going on here. It's just implied but we all know what's going on in this thought bubble.” We all know what's going on here.
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  • Jesus and Stewie Griffin in Family Guy: “Alright, so heh, I guess we'll split the bill 13 ways? Hey, Judas. He ordered like 5 margaritas, all you...” I guess we'll split the bill 13 ways?
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  • Jonathan Weed and Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “Are you sleeping on the job? No. There's a bug in my eye and I'm trying to suffocate him.” Are you sleeping on the job?
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  • Brian Griffin and Stewie Griffin in Family Guy: “I'm a social drinker, not an alcoholic. Yeah that's like saying rappers are really poets.” I'm a social drinker, not an alcoholic.
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “You ever just drive through a town and wonder Who the hell lives here?” You ever just drive through a town and wonder
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  • Lois Griffin and Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “Peter, why did we stop? Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers. Peter, for God's sake, she's having a...” Why did we stop?
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  • Family Guy: “Will do moose stuff for money” Will do moose stuff for money
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  • Herbert in Family Guy: “You know, if you get sweaty and want to take your shirt off, that'd be just fine.” You know, if you get sweaty and want to take your shirt off, that'd be just fine.
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  • Meg Griffin in Family Guy: “I'm going to get a floor mirror to squat over, and see what's making all that noise.” I'm going to get a floor mirror to squat over
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “You see, Meg. You're what they call a practice girl.” You can't give up sex.
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  • Herbert in Family Guy: “And don't you mouth off to me or I'll slap you right in your penis.” And don't you mouth off to me
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  • Lois Griffin and Glenn Quagmire in Family Guy: “Glenn, thank you so much for helping me tear up my carpet. I gotta confess, when you called me, I...” Thank you so much for helping me tear up my carpet.
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “I got drunk and then got my picture taken, so that way when I get pulled over for drunk drivin' I look the same as...” I got drunk and then got my picture taken
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “Jeez, Lois. I spent all morning on a boat drinking beer, telling jokes, and screwing around.” I spent all morning on a boat drinking beer
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “You know what really grinds my gears? When someone says to be ready by a certain time and at that time they...” You know what really grinds my gears?
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real.” When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real.
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  • Peter Griffin and Curator in Family Guy: “Why did all the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.” Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “Well, I just can't understand any of this. Everyone in Japan is either a ten year old girl or a monster.” I just can't understand any of this
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap.” Love is like a fart.
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “You know that Chuck Norris is so tough, that there is no chin behind his beard, it's only another fist.” Chuck Norris is so tough, that there is no chin behind his beard
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