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  • Nick Miller in New Girl: “I've never been more sober in my whole life. I'll remember this as long as I live. I'm all in. Uno, bitches.” I've never been more sober in my whole life
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  • Winston Bishop in New Girl: “You know, I'm just staying positive, but, uh... I'm pretty sure this is where we die.” I'm just staying positive
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  • Nick Miller in New Girl: “You're allowed to be happy, but it's really annoying, the way you're doing it.” You're allowed to be happy
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  • Winston Bishop in New Girl: “Look, it's no big deal... But I need this more than I've needed anything in my entire life.” Look, it's no big deal
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  • Nick Miller and Schmidt in New Girl: “Well, Jess, Christmas is just so stressful...with the lists and the lines and-and the dancing girls at TV...” Christmas is just so stressful
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  • Jess Day in New Girl: “I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours!” I brake for birds.
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  • Jess Day in New Girl: “You can't escape destiny. She comes for us all, that relentless bitch.” You can't escape destiny.
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  • Schmidt and Cece Parekh in New Girl: “You like my personality? I was surprised, too.” You like my personality?
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  • Schmidt in New Girl: “Have you seen a girl wandering around? Looks like a drawing of a best friend that an eight-year-old would make.” Have you seen a girl wandering around?
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  • Nick Miller in New Girl: “Am I proud of it? No. Did I do it? Yes.” Am I proud of it? No.
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  • Jess Day in New Girl: “What a dumb idea. Do it.” What a dumb idea.
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  • Winston Bishop in New Girl: “Not enough, not enough.” Not enough
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  • Winston Bishop in New Girl: “Oh, also, I have a cat. He's not ready to have a relationship with you. So, just don't try to force it on him.” I have a cat.
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  • Jess Day in New Girl: “I know I'm gullible. 'Cause people tell me that, and I have no reason not to believe them.” I know I'm gullible.
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  • Nick Miller in New Girl: “And stop being so mean to me, or I swear to God I'm gonna fall in love with you.” Stop being so mean to me
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    • Captain Ray in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “And now, a message of hope. Everything is garbage. You find something you care about, and it's taken from you.”
    • Captain Ray in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “And now, a message of hope. Everything is garbage. You find something you care about, and it's taken from you.”
    • Captain Ray in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “And now, a message of hope. Everything is garbage. You find something you care about, and it's taken from you.”
    • Captain Ray in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “And now, a message of hope. Everything is garbage. You find something you care about, and it's taken from you.”
    And now, a message of hope
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  • Ya Basic!
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  • Thanks for cooking Mom
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  • The routine
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  • Like a unicorn
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