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  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “Straight down the middle. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.” Ron about bowling
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  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “There will be no froofy desserts. There will be no giant soap bubble guns. There will be no adult men in...” BBQ is about good shared meat!
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  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “This is your lunch. You should be able to do whatever you want to with this, right?” Teaching kids how taxes work
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  • Parks and Recreation: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.” Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
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  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys into men, from men into gladiators, and from gladiators into...” You will grow from boys into men
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  • Ann Perkins and Andy Dwyer in Parks and Recreation: “Seniors can get pretty ornery. I think that's pronounced horny.” Seniors can get pretty ornery.
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  • Andy Dwyer in Parks and Recreation: “I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 sushis, I barf.” I'm allergic to sushi.
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  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “I'd wish you the best of luck. But I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.” Best of Luck
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  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something.” Fishing relaxes me
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  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “Of all my coworkers he is one of a small number whom I do not actively root against.” Classic Ron
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  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life.” Ron about Veganism
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  • Ann Perkins and Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “Do you exercise? Yes. Lovemaking and woodworking.” Do you exercise?
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  • Andy Dwyer in Parks and Recreation: “I'm gonna tell you all of my secrets. I once forgot to brush my teeth for 5 weeks.” Andy telling all his secrets
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  • Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation: “Whenever Leslie asks me for the Latin names of any of our plants, I just give her the names of rappers.” Those are some badass plants
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  • Parks and Recreation: “Best fake pregnancy test ever.” Best fake pregnancy test ever.
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  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “There's only one thing I hate more than lying, skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.” There's only one thing I hate more than lying
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  • Andy Dwyer in Parks and Recreation: “Leslie, I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and I broke everything.” Welcome to my 2018
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  • Andy Dwyer and Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “Ron, look. I found all three differences. Those are two completely different pictures.” I found all three differences.
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  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “I am not a sore loser. It's just that I prefer to win, and when I don't I get furious.” I am not a sore loser.
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  • Andy Dwyer and Ben Wyatt in Parks and Recreation: “I can't believe we're at Hogwarts! No, that's Buckingham Palace.” Andy ❤❤
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