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  • Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “You're not a pig. You're Daddy's little girl.” Are you selling your pot belly pig?
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  • Phil Dunphy in Modern Family: “I kind of just took it out on a Harry Potter. Seriously, though, a Gryffindor letting his mom carry his Quidditch...” Dont hate o the Hufflepuffs
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  • Claire Dunphy in Modern Family: “Dad, your hot wife, who was learning to walk when you were 30 year old, is pregnant with a baby you conceived...” Yes we would
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  • Phil Dunphy in Modern Family: “I'm sorry. Is it a vasecto-you, or a vasectomy?” Vasecto-who?
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  • Modern Family: “Not a real man.” Do you see it?
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  • Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “I think they made a mistake at the hospital. Tough room.” I think they made a mistake at the hospital
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  • Mitchell Pritchett and Cameron Tucker in Modern Family: “I think I'm lying on a rock. I'm lying next to my rock.” Not sure if I wanna cry or smile
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  • Mitchell Pritchett and Cameron Tucker in Modern Family: “Mr. Fish? Really? You don't know Nemo?” Really? You don't know Nemo?
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  • Phil Dunphy in Modern Family: “The first rule of dealing with the cycle - you never mention the cycle.”
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  • Cameron Tucker and Mitchell Pritchett in Modern Family: “I’m playing a new drinking game, it’s called Every time I’m depressed I take a drink.” Best game ever
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  • Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “Get her a towel she's shaking like a leaf.” Get her a towel she's shaking like a leaf.
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  • Claire Dunphy in Modern Family: “For the record, I don't squash all of Phil's dreams, just the ones that are, you know, potentially fatal.” I don't squash all of Phil's dreams
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  • Gloria Delgado Pritchett in Modern Family: “My mother used to criticize everything I did. And look at me now. I am a jumble of insecurities.” Look at me now!
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  • Claire Dunphy and Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “I'm the one who's turning Gloria into mom, which is really disturbing since we're the same age.” Thats gotta sting a little
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  • Manny Delgado and Gloria Delgado Pritchett in Modern Family: “I want to be homeschooled. Really, Manny? Do you want me to learn you English?” I want to be homeschooled.
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  • Lucky Luke
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  • Luke Dunphy in Modern Family: “Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.” Grandpa said…
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  • Mitchell Pritchett in Modern Family: “I realized that If I was gonna raise a boy, I needed to butch up my life. You know, I wanted to be able to...” I needed to butch up my life.
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  • Mitchell Pritchett in Modern Family: “We had amazing seats for Lady Gaga, and he gets sick. It's the one gay cliche I allow myself.” We had amazing seats for Lady Gaga
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  • Claire Dunphy and Phil Dunphy in Modern Family: “What was good about Luke's report card? He didn't lose it.” What was good about Luke's report card?
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