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  • Tahani Al-Jamil in The Good Place: “He has massive amounts of unearned confidence and he's utterly unaware of his own absurdity.” That would also describe a sexy skyscraper I know.
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  • Michael in The Good Place: “Birth is a curse and existence is a prison.” Birth is a curse and existence is a prison.
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  • Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place: “All humans are aware of death, so we're all a little bit sad, all the time.” I would rather not have been aware of this.
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  • Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place: “And if you try to ignore your sadness, it just ends up leaking out of you anyway.” If you try to ignore your sadness, it just ends up leaking out of you anyway.
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  • Michael in The Good Place: “Any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. That's how you got Beyonce.” Anything in the universe can be up to 104% perfect.
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  • Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place: “Son of a bench.” Son of a bench.
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  • Chidi Anagonye in The Good Place: “You're just like those childhood bullies who said I would never get tenure.” You're just like those childhood bullies
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  • Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place: “A selfish ass, an idiot DJ, a tortured academic, a hot, rich fraud with legs for days...” Me too!
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  • Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place: “Why don't I ever listen to people when they talk about themselves? No, it's annoying, and I'm right not to.” Why don't I ever listen to people
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  • Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place: “I feel like her confession of love was a lot better than mine. Can I get a do-over?” Can I get a do-over?
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  • Tahani Al-Jamil in The Good Place: “You know, I haven't been this upset since my good friend Taylor was rudely upstaged by my other friend...” I haven't been this upset since…
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  • Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place: “You're a really good fake soul mate.” You're a really good fake soul mate.
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  • Michael and Janet in The Good Place: “Will you be okay after I leave? This will not affect me in any way.” Show some compassion busty Alexa!
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  • Michael in The Good Place: “There's something so human about taking something great and ruining it a little so you can have more of it.” I've come to really like frozen yogurt
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  • Michael and Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place: “Well, since we're becoming friends, like Ross and Phoebe... Weird combo to pick, but okay.” Ross and Phoebe? Really?
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  • Chidi Anagonye in The Good Place: “Well, that's called tyranny. And it's generally frowned upon.” That's called tyranny.
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  • Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place: “Well, I tried to want to.” Well, I tried to want to.
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  • Tahani Al-Jamil in The Good Place: “Well, I should really be going. I have to begin my 12 step Korean skincare regiment.” I should really be going
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  • Eleanor Shellstrop in The Good Place: “It's suddenly very important that I get drunk.” It's suddenly very important that I get drunk.
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  • Chidi Anagonye in The Good Place: “Okay, I've made my decision. I want to, start crying.” I've made my decision.
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