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  • Office worker and Jerry Seinfeld in Seinfeld: “I thought you were happy-go-lucky. No, no. I'm not happy, I'm not lucky, and I don't go.” I thought you were happy-go-lucky.
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  • Elaine Benes and Jerry Seinfeld in Seinfeld: “You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high. I went out with you.” Your standards are too high.
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  • George Costanza in Seinfeld: “I can’t stand kids. Adults think it’s so wonderful how honest kids are. I don’t need that kind of honesty.” I can’t stand kids
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  • Kramer in Seinfeld: “I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!” I need the secure packaging of Jockeys
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  • Frank Costanza in Seinfeld: “Understand, we love you like a son, but even parents have limits.” We love you like a son, but…
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  • George Costanza in Seinfeld: “I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.” I love a good nap
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  • George Costanza in Seinfeld: “I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless, you don't care.” My dream is to become hopeless.
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  • Lisa Simpson, Marge Simpson and Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “Hey mom! Can Juliet sleep over? Are your parents ok with that? They never met us.” Could have been
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  • Lisa Simpson and Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “Dad, don’t act like Mussolini. Ooh, I thought I was doing Donald Trump.” Dad, don’t act like Mussolini
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  • Homer Simpson and Marge Simpson in The Simpsons: “Oh, this is the worst party ever. I don’t know. Remember that New Year’s Eve at Lenny’s?” This is the worst party ever
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  • Man and Marge Simpson in The Simpsons: “Care to join me in a belt of Scotch? It’s 9:30 in the morning. Yeah, but I haven’t slept in days.” It's never too early
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  • Kim Kardashian and Scott Disick in Keeping Up with the Kardashians: “I’m so annoyed, I got this stroller and I’m trying to put it together.” That’s when it gets so much easier.
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  • Scott Disick and Kylie Jenner in Keeping Up with the Kardashians: “I don't even think she knows what gluten is! I don't, do you? No. Does anybody?” I don't even think she knows what gluten is!
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  • Scott Disick and Kylie Jenner in Keeping Up with the Kardashians: “Did she tell you the big news? Are you pregnant?! Isn't she always?” Are you pregnant?!
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  • Kim Kardashian in Keeping Up with the Kardashians: “Kanye went to jail, they arrested him...and you know, you get to make one call in jail...so...” Kanye went to jail, they arrested him
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  • Scott Disick in Keeping Up with the Kardashians: “Why don’t we have the chemistry that Leo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet had in titanic?” We’re not in a movie!
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  • Phoebe Buffay and Precious in Friends: “Susie...Can I call you Susie? My name is Precious. I can't say that.” Can I call you Susie?
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  • Friends: “One, don't pick up the phone. Two, don't let him in. Three, don't be his friend.” You know the rules
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  • Phoebe Buffay and Monica Geller in Friends: “I had a hard life, my mother was killed by a drug dealer. Your mother killed herself.” I had a hard life
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  • Chandler Bing and Rachel Green in Friends: “Bravo on the hot nanny. What? You really think she's hot? If I wasn't married, she'd be rejecting me...” Bravo on the hot nanny.
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  • 16 Sarcastic And Hilarious Dr Gregory House Quotes 16 Sarcastic And Hilarious Dr Gregory House Quotes
  • 12 Times Howard Wolowitz showed us that he's a ladies' man 12 Times Howard Wolowitz showed us that he's a ladies' man
  • 15 Times Jason Mendoza was Forking Hilarious on The Good Place 15 Times Jason Mendoza was Forking Hilarious on The Good Place
  • 15 Times Schmidt Happened On 'New Girl' 15 Times Schmidt Happened On 'New Girl'
  • 15 Reasons Why Sheldon And Penny Have The Most Awesome Friendship 15 Reasons Why Sheldon And Penny Have The Most Awesome Friendship
  • 15 Times Karen Walker From 'Will & Grace' Made Us Burst Out Laughing 15 Times Karen Walker From 'Will & Grace' Made Us Burst Out Laughing
  • 16 Most Romantic Penny and Leonard Moments on The Big Bang Theory 16 Most Romantic Penny and Leonard Moments on The Big Bang Theory
  • Bronn's Most Badass and Savage Insults at Game of Thrones Bronn's Most Badass and Savage Insults at Game of Thrones
  • 10 Times Ricky Gervais From 'After Life' Made Us Burst Out Laughing 10 Times Ricky Gervais From 'After Life' Made Us Burst Out Laughing
  • Big Bang Theory Sheldon and Amy - Best Shamy Moments Big Bang Theory Sheldon and Amy - Best Shamy Moments
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