• Phil Dunphy in Modern Family: “Phil’s-Osophy. A hardbound collection of all the life lessons i’ve learned.” A hardbound collection
    • 0
    • Share
  • John Oliver in Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: “The IRS combines two of the things we hate the most in life: someone taking our money and math.” The IRS combines two things
    • 0
    • Share
  • Leonard Hofstadter and Penny in The Big Bang Theory: “What did you mean when you said you were going to miss me? It means I wish you weren't going.” What did you mean when you said you were going to miss me?
    • 0
    • Share
  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “Hey! Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.” Kind of
    • 0
    • Share
  • Gavin Belson and Maggie Lewis in Silicon Valley: “Is this Windows Vista bad? It's not IPhone 4 bad...is it? Don't tell me this is Zune bad...” Is this Windows Vista bad?
    • 0
    • Share
  • Doctor and Richard Hendricks in Silicon Valley: “I would tell you not to have sex before then, but lets face it. Lightning ain't gonna strike...” Savage
    • 0
    • Share
  • Jake Peralta, Gina Linetti and Rosa Diaz in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “Gina's picking Hold up at the airport, and she told me she can stall him for at...” She told me she can stall him for at least two hours.
    • 0
    • Share
  • Sam Winchester and Charlie Bradbury in Supernatural: “The medical examiner said his body showed clear signs that he was killed by belladonna.” The pornstar?!
    • 0
    • Share
  • Schmidt in New Girl: “I'm a mess. I can't sleep. I urinate constantly. I cried the other day listening to a techno song.” I'm a mess.
    • 0
    • Share
  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel-toe boot.” That sounds delicious
    • 0
    • Share