• Schmidt in New Girl: “I'm a mess. I can't sleep. I urinate constantly. I cried the other day listening to a techno song.” I'm a mess.
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  • Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation: “I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel-toe boot.” That sounds delicious
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  • Ross Geller and Chandler Bing in Friends: “We went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs at the museum. Without me?” How can you?
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  • Jared Dunn and Erlich Bachman in Silicon Valley: “Pornography accounts for 27 percent of all internet usage. 28 when I'm on it.” Pornography accounts for 27 percent of all internet usage
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  • Cook and Gordon Ramsay in Kitchen Nightmares: “When I bang she comes. When you bang, she comes? Sounds like a porn movie.” When I bang she comes.
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  • Patty Bouvier in The Simpsons: “Patty Bouvier From now on, I’m only marrying for love. Possibly once more for money.” All for love
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  • Man and Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “All right, Simpson, I don’t like you and you don’t like me. I like you. Um, all right.” I don’t like you
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  • Elaine Benes in Seinfeld: “I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian.” I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian.
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  • Kevin Gable in Kevin can wait: “And i said, 'That girl right there - I am going to marry her' And then i thought. 'Nah, I'm going for the tall...” I am going to marry her
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  • Gordon Ramsay in Hells Kitchen: “Jean-Philippe, s'il vous plaît? Can you please escort these bimbos back to plastic surgery?” Jean-Philippe
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