• Girl in A.P. BIO: “My father’s whore lives there. She’s a rich whore.” My father’s whore lives there
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  • Sal and Lily Tucker-Pritchett in Modern Family: “Sorry you couldn't come to the wedding. It's okay. I'll go to your next one.” Savage!
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  • Jerry Seinfeld and Kramer in Seinfeld: “Why don't you go out? It's nice out. Oh, no. There's nothing out there for me.” Why don't you go outside
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  • Gordon Ramsay in Hells Kitchen: “She stares at me like something out of the fucking Shining.” Don’t stare at me, Mary!
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  • Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing in Friends: “Hey, what are we gonna do for dinner? Well, we can just stay in and cook for ourselves.” Love the two
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  • Stewie Griffin in Family Guy: “Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.” I come bearing a gift
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  • Kevin and Donna in Kevin can wait: “Hey guys, quick update. I am already two burgers in, and there is really no sign of me slowing down.” Hey guys, quick update
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “Bart, this is your father! Do you know where the remote is? I looked all over the house.” This is your father!
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  • Schmidt in New Girl: “Where do you even buy sheets like this? They have the thread count of a paper towel.” Where do you even buy sheets like this?
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “I'm in no condition to drive. Wait, I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk.” I'm in no condition to drive.
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