• Herbert in Family Guy: “And don't you mouth off to me or I'll slap you right in your penis.” And don't you mouth off to me
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  • Lois Griffin and Glenn Quagmire in Family Guy: “Glenn, thank you so much for helping me tear up my carpet. I gotta confess, when you called me, I...” Thank you so much for helping me tear up my carpet.
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “I got drunk and then got my picture taken, so that way when I get pulled over for drunk drivin' I look the same as...” I got drunk and then got my picture taken
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “Jeez, Lois. I spent all morning on a boat drinking beer, telling jokes, and screwing around.” I spent all morning on a boat drinking beer
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “You know what really grinds my gears? When someone says to be ready by a certain time and at that time they...” You know what really grinds my gears?
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real.” When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real.
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  • Peter Griffin and Curator in Family Guy: “Why did all the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.” Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “Well, I just can't understand any of this. Everyone in Japan is either a ten year old girl or a monster.” I just can't understand any of this
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap.” Love is like a fart.
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  • Peter Griffin in Family Guy: “You know that Chuck Norris is so tough, that there is no chin behind his beard, it's only another fist.” Chuck Norris is so tough, that there is no chin behind his beard
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