• Charlie Harper in Two and a Half Men: “Just practicing...” You mean child you
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  • Evelyn Harper and Norman in Two and a Half Men: “You look a lot like my fifth husband. Really? How many times you been married? Four.” You look a lot like my fifth husband.
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  • Charlie Harper and Berta in Two and a Half Men: “I have a firm rule when it comes to sleeping with married women. Yeah, if she's firm enough...” I have a firm rule when it comes to sleeping with married women.
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  • Evelyn Harper and Charlie Harper in Veep: “And I want an unadorned headstone that reads simply, Evelyn Harper: Loving wife, devoted mother.” I want an unadorned headstone
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  • Jake Harper and Alan Harper in Two and a Half Men: “Where's the dead guy? Jake, show a little respect. Where's the dead guy, sir?” Show some respect
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  • Alan Harper and Charlie Harper in Two and a Half Men: “I think I forgot something. If you forgot, isn't important. Yeah, you're right.” I think I forgot something.
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  • Alan Harper and Charlie Harper in Two and a Half Men: “Should I change? You should but after all these years I doubt you will.” Should I change?
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  • Jake Harper and Charlie Harper in Two and a Half Men: “I'm sleeping. Sleep in school, like everybody else.” I'm sleeping.
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  • Judith Harper and Evelyn Harper in Two and a Half Men: “Don't you think you've had enough to drink at the magic show, Evelyn?” Don't you think you've had enough
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  • Alan Harper and Charlie Harper in Two and a Half Men: “I feel sorry that your heart has become so hard and small, that you've lost the capacity...” Classic Charlie
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