• Hank in Californication: “Your assistant makes me want to touch myself in a bad place.” Your assistant makes me want to touch myself
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  • Donna Paulsen in Suits: “Just because a person gives advice doesn't mean that they have to follow that same advice.” Just because a person gives advice
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  • Murray in The Goldbergs: “I agree with whatever nonsense your mother just said.” I agree with everything
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  • Dr. Gregory House in House MD: “Yesterday's sluts are today's empowered women, today's sluts are celebrities.” That's one hell of women empowering speech
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  • Gloria in Modern Family: “To Haley’s first drink. Salud.” It burns
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “Oh, my God. Space aliens. Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them!” I have wife and kids
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  • Homer Simpson in The Simpsons: “No matter how good you are at something, there’s always about a million people better than you.” No matter how good you are at something
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  • Dr. Gregory House in House MD: “Just waiting for whatever is about to go wrong.” Just waiting for whatever is about to go wrong.
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  • Rachel Green in Friends: “Well maybe I don't need your money! Wait! I said maybe!” I don't need your money!
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  • Alan Harper and Charlie Harper in Two and a Half Men: “I wish there were a better way to deal with Mom. There is, but we're both too pretty for jail.” I wish there were a better way to deal with Mom
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