• Alex Dunphy and Haley Dunphy in Modern Family: “Isn't Dylan still married? And still an idiot? Hey, he is NOT still married.” I like Dylan too
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  • Phil Dunphy in Modern Family: “I realized I have a mean girl in my life. JAY. How do you get a mean girl to stop being a mean girl? Be mean girlier.” How do you get a mean girl to stop being a mean girl?
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  • Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “There are too many actual reasons for us to get together that we can't afford to do it by mistake.” Love you all but go home.
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  • Luke Dunphy and Alex Dunphy in Modern Family: “Hey, Alex. You're the last virgin. Please, I'm dating a fireman. I'm having hotter sex than...” Please, I'm dating a fireman.
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  • Claire Dunphy in Modern Family: “If Hannibal Lector and Freddy Krueger had a love child, he would be afraid of our next-door neighbor.” Thats one scary baby
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  • Mitchell Pritchett in Modern Family: “When I was 12 years old, my father walked into my bedroom and caught me doing the most embarrassing thing...” The most embarrassing thing that a boy can do
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  • Haley Dunphy and Alex Dunphy in Modern Family: “I wish she was never even born! They were trying to make one with a brain!” Sisters fighting
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  • Phil Dunphy in Modern Family: “Happy Valenbirthiversary!” When in doubt…
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  • Claire Dunphy in Modern Family: “You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.” About massaging Claire
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  • Cameron Tucker in Modern Family: “You want to hear the guest list for tonight? So far it's anger, betrayal, terror and sadness.” You want to hear the guest list
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