• Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory: “How are you with pets? Well, I did take care of Sheldon for 15 years and he only bit me twice.” That should count
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  • Sheldon Cooper and Mary Cooper in The Big Bang Theory: “Why do people cry at weddings? They're practicing for what's coming later.” Makes sense
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  • Jerry Seinfeld in Seinfeld: “You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, I give up.” But they are so comfy
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  • Peter Griffin and Joe Swanson in Family Guy: “We'll never make it on foot. We got to steal that kid's Jet Ski. Peter, the boat's right there.” It's the only way guys!
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  • Murray in The Goldbergs: “I raised morons” You've got to be kidding me
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  • Seinfeld: “I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian.”
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    • Haley in Modern Family: “Why would anyone read their horoscope so late in the day? Everything’s already happened.”
    • Haley in Modern Family: “Why would anyone read their horoscope so late in the day? Everything’s already happened.”
    Haley and horoscopes
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  • Seinfeld: “Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.”
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  • Dont mess with Columbians
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  • Lily and Cam in Modern Family: “So Larry is allowed to sit on the couch and I’m not? Well, Larry is White. Hey you chose me! Oh.. Uh..” Well, Larry is White
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