• Michael Scott in The Office: “What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I went ... I once went 28 years without having sex.” No willpower
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  • Dragon and Julia Wicker in The Magicians: “Your bodies will stay here, and your souls will travel. You have 24 hours to return to the portal. Or?” I'm a fucking dragon
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  • Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory: “Well, Gollum, you're an expert on rings. What do I do with this one?” Poor Sheldon! :'(
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  • Schmidt and Jess Day in New Girl: “I'll take you through the whole thing. I'll be your guide. Like Gandalf through Middle-Earth?” Like Gandalf through Middle-Earth?
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  • Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner in Keeping Up with the Kardashians: “It won’t eat its regular food, it’ll only eat these. Those are cookies for...” Picky dog
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  • Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation: “Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.” Leslie knows best
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  • Tony and Hooker in After Life: “Worst one, sex addiction. Literally invented by someone who got caught cheating. Hey, those guys are some of my...” Worst one, sex addiction.
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  • Jorah Mormont in Game of Thrones: “The things we love destroy us every time” The things we love destroy us every time
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  • Schmidt in New Girl: “Do you have anything that says Sorry for cheating on you, please don't sleep with my friends?” Do you have anything that says "Sorry for cheating on you"
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  • Brothel Guard and Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones: “It's good luck to rub a dwarf's head. It's even better luck to suck a dwarf's cock.” It's good luck to rub a dwarf's head.
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