• Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory: “Not to brag, but all my breakups have lasted.”
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  • Dr. Gregory House in House MD: “I cared for eight seconds. Then I got distracted.” I cared for eight seconds.
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  • Gordon Ramsay and Cook in Kitchen Nightmares: “Is there anything today that I ate that wasn't microwaved? The salad. You fucking donut.” Is there anything today that I ate that wasn't microwaved?
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  • Kevin Malone in The Office: “One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.” One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway.
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  • Jason Mendoza in The Good Place: “I can't go. I'm too young to die and too old to eat off the kids menu. What a stupid age I am.” I'm too young to die
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  • Dr. Jaime Conway and Dr. Gregory House in House MD: “Dr. House, I've heard your name. Most people have. It's also a noun.” I've heard your name
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  • Dr. Gregory House and Dr. Allison Cameron in House MD: “He did, however, get hit by a bullet. He was shot? No. Somebody threw it at him.” He did get hit by a bullet
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  • Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory: “It's like my girl Beyonce says: If you like it, you shoulda put a ring on it.” It's like my girl Beyonce says
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  • Dr. Gregory House in House MD: “The world is such a complicated place if you've got higher reasoning skills.” The world is such a complicated place
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  • Leo Markus and Karen Walker in Will and Grace: “I thought two bottles per person was going to be enough. Maybe if we were in high school.” I thought two bottles per person was going to be enough.
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