• Rosa Diaz and Jake Peralta in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “Dumb europeans write their dates backwards. Of course! Stupid rest of the world, writing their...” Stupid rest of the world
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  • Gina Linetti in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I really miss these people, the whole crew...Jake, Terry, bleh. I forget all their other names.” I really miss these people
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  • Amy Santiago and Jake Peralta in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I hope it wasnt't a mistake. I hope it wasn't a mistake, title of your sex tape?” Title of your sextape
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  • Jake Peralta and Adrian Pimento in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “We need your help. Great. Who are we killing? I won't do kids, that's a rule.” Great. Who are we killing?
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  • Jake Peralta in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “If I don't see you everyday I will forget who you are. I'm like a goldfish!” I will forget who you are
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  • Terry Jeffords and Rosa Diaz in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I get what you're saying, but at least I used to be a prime physical specimen.” I'm a fat, bald old man
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  • Captain Ray Holt in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “Turns out there wasn't a bomb. It was a clock made by an overachieving minority student.” Turns out there wasn't a bomb
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  • TV host and Captain Ray Holt in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “The cairn terrier is intelligent and inquisitive with a bold personality.” A bold personality, we know what that's code for
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  • Amy Santiago and Scully in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “Scully and Hitchcock, you're in charge of seating. Smart move Amy. I've been called the Leonardo...” You're in charge of seating
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  • Jake Peralta in Brooklyn Nine-Nine: “I was detained once by Taylor Swift's security team. But it was a misunderstanding.” She's probably gonna write a song about me.
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