• Jay Pritchett and Gloria Delgado-Pritchett in Modern Family: “I was able to raise two fully functional kids! You have two kids that I don't know...” Two fully functional kids!
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  • Manny Delgado and Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “My God I'm normal. Trust me kid. No one says that about you.” My God I'm normal.
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  • Jay Pritchett and Seler in Modern Family: “Excuse me where do you keep the diapers? You are trying to be funny? We have larger sizes.” Where do you keep the diapers?
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  • Jay Pritchett and Gloria Delgado-Pritchett in Modern Family: “I thought your phone got stolen. This is Joe's phone! This is why the terrorists...” This is Joe's phone!
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  • Claire Dunphy and Club bouncer in Modern Family: “Don't you need to check IDs? Sorry, we don't offer a senior discount.” Savage!
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  • Mitchell Pritchett and Haley Dunphy in Modern Family: “To Haley's first drink, huh? - Salud. ...Glug... Huh! Errr...oooh, it burns!” To Haley's first drink
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  • Gloria Delgado-Pritchett and Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “So you don't feel guilty? For what? Not sharing this 30-year-old scotch with Phil?” So you don't feel quilty?
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  • Haley Dunphy and Phil Dunphy in Modern Family: “Did anyone see my leopard print skirt? I saw a leopard headband on the stairs. That's it.” Did anyone see my leopard print skirt?
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  • Gavin Sinclair in Modern Family: “You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.” The most wide-eyed person
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  • Gloria Delgado-Pritchett and Jay Pritchett in Modern Family: “You're Shrek the ogre. I don't want to walk all night with an ugly rubber mask.” You're Shrek the ogre.
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